#I've been sick and I started laughing into some intense coughing and that's happened before

[thesnacken]

Uhhhhhhh

[squaredancing-weston]

text || Brobastian (Week 2)

Bas: Well, maybe it should be in a room full of mirrors, then. That way I get to see myself /and/ the other guy. Although I feel like just fucking me would actually take less effort than the teasing would. I mean, there's only so much of someone rutting against me that I can take - especially if they're murmuring in my ear about all of the different ways they plan on having me. That shit gets /exhausting/, Brodes - there comes a time where you just want someone to fill you up, or - fuck, I feel like riding them would be easier than just the /tease/. I mean not that the tease isn't all manner of hot, but, you know - there /are/ limits, and pushing them with me in this state would just be cruel, you know? Best just to give me the relief I need.

Bas: When your material revolves around crappy jokes at my expense, then that's just sad. Really - you have /one/ subject. I know you're obsessed with me, Brodes, but come on. Hey, I'm not the one trying to be a comedian, here. That's on you.

Bas: Can't say I've counted. What - you think I don't own any R&H? You underestimate me, as usual. While I appreciate ballet as an art form, yeah - no. Besides all of the dizziness, it really is just gonna send me to sleep again. I've slept enough. Why do you equate my ability to find people to sleep with to a lack of standards? While I might have had some questionable hook-ups in the past (all hot, just some... questionable people), I do like quality. Newbie Brody sounds adorable - man, I'd have loved to corrupt him - but I digress. Just because you're fine going home alone, doesn't mean we all need to do so. Don't get me wrong, there's been a night or two where I haven't hooked up, but it's really not very often. Why skip out on the chance for some good sex? Fine, fine - he can do the groundwork, but I'm making my intentions clear.

Bas: Man, you can be so dramatic sometimes, you know that? Tell you what - if I die from sex, you can rest assured that you were right, and I'll have gone out in probably the best way that I possibly could. I'm not /that/ sick - I'll be fine in a few days. I already told you - nobody said /anything/ about being ass-raped to death apart from you. Seriously, I worry about you sometimes.

Bas: He's been hovering, yeah. You don't really /need/ to angle Blaine - his ass is a good view no matter where he's standing in the room, so long as he's not directly facing you. Although the rest of him is perfectly pleasing to look at, too.

Bas: You mean there's no one to obsess over. Don't worry, Brodes - me and my ass will be back in no time. Oh, but if he's as bad as you claim he is, you're fine mocking over texts? So cruel. I don't deserve this shit. I didn't say anything about not liking it. If nothing else, she'll give me something to do during lunch hour. And by /do/, well.... I'm sure you know what I mean. Yeah, but what happens when she puts on Legally Blonde and they start thinking that they can get a law degree and win trials based on their perm maintenance knowledge? And I bet she wouldn't even show the Broadway version.

Brody: Doesn't a room full of mirrors mess with the reflection though? Like kind of skew the coloration or something, because it's just reflection on reflection on reflection, etc? But yeah-- I mean, you could definitely play with more than one, get all the angles. You're missing the point, Bas. The point isn't what would take the least effort: it's what has the biggest payoff. And since you can't really handle that level of exertion for at least another week, the tease has to last until you can properly enjoy it. So until then, they can really only get by themselves by talking about how intense it's going to get-- how they're going to spread you out, stretch you open one finger at a time, three fingers deep, before lapping up your ass like a cream to a cat. Fucking bringing you to a breaking point if you don't have their full, thick, throbbing cock inside of you, punching up against your sweet spot hard while their hands are //finally// reaching around, slicked up so they're wet and hot and completely covering you and just pumping like you guys haven't fucked in weeks-- which, you know, you haven't. Because you've been on bedrest and he's not going to fuck you until you're off. It's a medical thing, Bas-- I mean, it's that or nothing, you know? And I figured since //nothing// was basically killing you here, it'd make more sense this way, right?

Brody: I hardly see that as sad-- who deserves jokes at their expense more than the proud peacock? I mean really? And it makes everybody laugh. I cater to my audience, what can I say. And you're worse than they are, Bas-- I know you; you'd rather hear anything about yourself than the funniest jokes about anyone else. Tcha-- everyone's a critic until the light's on them.

Brody: Well, let me know when you think of a ballpark figure. //You// watch Rogers and Hammerstein? Like more than just in passing? You do know people usually fall in //love// in those shows, right? Without sex? Or are you sleeping through those parts? You realize sleep isn't the enemy, right? I mean, I'm not encouraging you to sleep through culture in its purest form, but if your body's trying to drag you under, that's usually a sign. It might have something to do with the fact that there's a limited number of bodies in Ohio and you've likely slept with the majority of them-- and they definitely could not have been all 10s, Bas. I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't give some of them a 7 after you took off your beer goggles. Yeah, I'm familiar with the questionable aspect-- I've seen that scar on your back XD Hey-- Newbie Brody was still plenty experienced, just...a little gun shy. Let's just say I didn't leave Sparks without a little bit of crazy chasing me out. And if 22-year old Bas was when whips were involved in your sex life, I wouldn't really want to be corrupted, thanks. Well, I guess I just don't mind the break to focus on other things then. Sex isn't air for me. Bas, I've heard you guys talking-- I'm pretty sure your intentions are perfectly clear by now. Like bird flying into a window transparent.

Brody: //I// can be dramatic? That's a laugh, considering some of the shit I've seen you pull over the years. So I can write on your grave: Brody Told You So You Assless Peacock ? I mean, since if you die by //my// dick, I'm going to be in the next grave over, it seems only fair. Okay, okay-- you're just unnecessarily stuck on bedrest while coughing like hell. You're not sick. I'm still not sexing you up while you look like that. You know, when you say crap like that, it makes me believe you never even watched the show, much less read the books, and that hurts my feelings. I mean, did you think they'd be asking about the actor(s-- since the guy was recast three different times at least) or what? Because I'm pretty sure they would have clarified that point if that had been the case. Hey-- I didn't choose the dead guy. I chose the manipulative girl with experience.

Brody: well, so long as we're in agreement that his ass is way better than yours, I'll totally agree with that. I mean, personally, he's not really my type, but I don't blame you for pining over the innocent soul you failed to fully corrupt. Everyone has the one that got away, Bas.

Brody: I'm sorry, are you implying that I couldn't easily find someone else to talk to or about? Because I'm pretty sure that the conversation is significantly more diverse around the people that are actually //allowed// out of the house. Well, a) I can't see you, and 2) didn't you just say you were fine? XD Can't have it both ways, peacock. Speaking of obsession...you know you could always just stop answering, right?

Brody: [unsent] holy fuck please do not actually seriously consider that as an option-- why the fuck did I say that god fucking dammit I'm pathetic

Brody: I guess-- just make sure you wipe off the desk before and after-- and rinse out her mouth. God mayonnaise just bugs the crap out of me. I mean, obviously it's not hurting her, because she looks great, but why do people need their sandwiches to look like someone dumped a vat of glue on it? Yech. I admit, if your kids are watching Reese Witherspoon the Lawyer-based movies and not coming out of it with any worthwhile lyrics in their head, I'll be a little disappointed. But I'm sure she'd give them all time to perfect the bend-and-snap, since you won't be there to demonstrate whenever you need something from the principal XD